NFL To Begin Testing for Hallucinogens This Upcoming Season

Today the NFL announced that it will begin testing players and coaches for hallucinogens this upcoming season.

The league, which already conducts strict testing for HGH, marijuana, and amphetamines, began considering adding hallucinogens to the list back in 2012 following Joe Flacco‘s assertion that he was ‘the best QB in the league‘.

The Ravens Joe Flacco isn’t shy to voice his opinion on who’s number one.

The quarterback’s asinine statement stirred up a wide debate on who the best quarterback in the league actually was, but also created speculation among NFL officials that players might be taking hallucinogens such as LSD (pictured below), peyote, and PCP.

Three years of extensive research seemed to solidify the league’s initial opinion, and the ridiculous claims this offseason from multiple players finally tipped the scale, as hallucinogen testing will commence this September.

Players suspected of using mind-altering drugs include:

  1. Robert Griffin III, Washington Redskins QB – Recently stated that he was the best quarterback in the league, a few months after being benched for gunslinger Colt McCoy                                                                                 
  2. Eli Manning, New York Giants QB – Reportedly wants to be the highest-paid player in the National Football League a year after leading the New York Giants to an impressive 6-10 record                                                                                
  3. Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks QB – Requested a yearly salary that would pay him more than league MVP Aaron Rodgers after throwing the game-sealing pick in Super Bowl 49, and is remaining abstinent until marriage (NEED I SAY MORE!!)                                                          

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